Day 311: Too many questions to sleep

I lay down
On your pull out sofa couch
And watched the fan blades spinning round
Changing the sounds from my open mouth
The questions that were formed
And released into the world
Whipped back with fan blade whiplash
While I wondered where you were

Day 310: Something

Half angel half demon
Half dead in a delicate balance
With lips that kill and lips that praise
Pressed to golden chalice

Day 309: Make me

I stared at my reflection
And it stared back at me
I said I wish you were a better man
And lived how others wished they could be
I wish you didn't say those words
Creating scars just to win a fight
I wish you stopped and helped the homeless
And championed for what was right
I wish you didn't look at women
As if they were just bags of meat
My reflection stared back, eyes full of tears
And said, "I wish that you would make me."

Day 308: Always and never

Never be a burden
Always be a blessing
Never live behind a lie
There's freedom in confessing
Always let your actions
Reflect what you're professing
And never let a relapse
Keep you from progressing

Day 307: Isaiah 56:8 spark notes edition

This is the fasting that I want:

Free the innocent
Lighten burdens
Let the oppressed go free
Share your food
Your home, your clothes
With family and those in need

Day 306: My God, My God

My God, My God
Why have I forsaken thee,
I've turned by back
And loosed my grasp
On the hands that guided me
Through every path
In the valley of death
Yet brought me safely home
And now off I've run
Away from you
And found myself alone

Day 305: Oh hell no

I heard a word that shook my soul
Trembling it's feeble foundation
The white hot flash of lucid fear
Came with the realization
That I could never go home again
The doctor said, "you're pregnant, friend."

Day 304: Tired

I want so badly to escape
To pretend that none of this occurred
To start again, or better yet
To be done with this world
My mind is weary, heavy laden
Exhausted from the race it runs
I try desperately to slow it down
With alcohol and smokey lungs

Day 303: The future is here

I saw them lower their fire arms
And take up fruits and flowers
I saw them leave their daily chores
And play around for hours
I saw them laugh and bathe in rivers
Not caring who would see
I saw as neighbors, family, friends
All turned into Eloi

I saw them horde the abandoned guns
And oil all the parts
I saw them toil underneath
The cover of the dark
I saw them offer protection
To the eloi behind the locks
I saw the leaders slip detection
As they became morlocks.

Day 302: A modern day fiefdom

These people with white picket fences
Guarding castles made of debt
Are not kings but merely surfs
Chasing dreams they cannot catch
But how else can you keep the poor
From rising up against the rich
Give them entertaining shows
To slowly kill their brain off with

Day 301: Pensive

In all the things I've been
Have I ever been myself?
Has every friend I've ever had
Been a way to hide from the world?
Has every lesson that I've learned
And all that I've attained
Been just a route to run away
From the person I became?
I've never been more lost
Than when I look into my past
I see the roads that I followed
But can't divine why I chose the path.
And if you can relate
To a mannequin without a face
Then you know exactly how I feel
Because I've never really known
Where to call a home
And don't know how to tell what is real

Day 300: Unfair

I just want someone to look at me
The way I look at you
To stare in amazement and forget to breathe
To suddenly forget what's happening
To have a memory of that stolen glance
That feels like it was seen in a dream
But you never see me like that
I'm someone you look through
To find what you can get from me
What I can give to you

Day 299: Reckoning

I was once the son of suns
King of kings, hum of nuns
Whispered in the hallowed convent halls

I was once killed twice born
The quiet in the mind's eye of the storm
I was the heir of apocolyptic prayers that warned of my retrun

Day 298:Leave you breathless

I added a beat to my words
Just to see what came out
And the concussive force of the combination
Nearly shook my house.
Never quite could figure out
The science of the beat
So I set myself to learn the ways
Of lips tongues and teeth
Of trying to find a way
To ignite a stage with speech
And deliver a lyrical cadence
That will sweep you off your feet.
Leave you breathless

297: Lost again

Took a hook to the jaw
Saw stars for an eternity
Woke up in a car
Uncertain of my itinerary
It looks like I had a plan
But now I'm totally lost
Parked with headlights off
In a lonely rest stop
The last thing I remember
Was you in your black dress
You came to me and took me in
But the rest is a blurry mess
I'm sure whatever spell you cast
Has worked out like you planned
You've once again foiled my plans
And left me a vulnerable man

Day 296: echo

I'm calling out
Waiting for my echos to
Let me know I'm not alone
And I'm searching gazes
Looking for some recognition to
Let me know I'm someone's son
And I'm holding on
To this pebble in my pocket
To let me know which way is up
Since my feet can't find the ground
Still waiting for that echoed sound
To let me know someone's around

Day 295: fallen

I saw a streak of light ignite
And set the world aflame
I lost all sense of the time that slipped
When you changed the sound of my name
I lost all sense of perspective
When I looked into your eyes and feel
And I lost all hope of self reliance
When you introduced yourself

Day 294: Foggy Memory

I ran my finger tips through the mist of the memory of our first kiss and came away with a dealthlocked grip clutching nothing but a light dew that slowly dripped like my skin was salivating for your touch.

Day 293: I need to start this again.

Let's consider this last month a much need hiatus to straighten out priorities that piled up like sky scrapers in twisted metal heaps creating archetypal idols made plain in city streets reading stocks quotes instead of bibles. Now grant me a moment to consolidate these worthless totems that we created for a leader that wasn't chosen freedom was stolen by the things that we kept unable to loosen grips that cling tightly to the ropes we wrapped around our own necks. And we hang at high noon as our shadow creates a hole for the escape of whatever has been left of our souls. And so we swing ornaments of a ghost town that sings in whispers of an age where we gilded everything and we were kings, but really we were slaves, tricked into feeling prosperous in the glitzed and glammoured age. When real wealth left us for dead after months of trying to help, instead of hunting for the truth we took the guns and aimed them at our selves.

The End

In case you haven't noticed. I dropped the ball.
No point in trying to catch up for a lost week and a half so in the end, It was a good trip, but now it's over.

Day 292: Still Can't Sleep

Sleep deprived
Puffy eyes
Coffee drip
Won't do shit
Drifting through
What I gotta do
To try again tonight
We'll see what happens
When I turn out the lights

Day 291: 7 miles is not a long detour for a mad dog

Dive right in
Catch the disease
Let the feeling of infection
Completely set you free
The madness makes you less than human
But you will catch what you chase
Because 7 miles is not too far
For a rabid dog to go out of it's way

Day 290: Move Sucka Move

I'm growing stagnant
Wondering if I can hack it
Trying on wishes then ditching them
Like winter jackets
I'm not moving forward
But I'm not moving back
And I can't rebuild what's not broken
But can't tear it down till it starts to crack

Day 289: Take a Stand

Who will stand
If they that have the power
Won't help those who can't
Who will shout
When those with the voices
Keep sealed their mouths
Who will weep
When those with a conscience
Waste away quietly
Who will fight
When those with the passion
Hide their light

288: Maybe a change in the weather

Maybe a change in the weather
Will send me a hand written letter
Penned in my font and dated years from now
Telling tales of how my life got better
So I wait for the storms
From the evening till morn
Praying for thunderheads to roll through with winds
That can patch a heart that's been torn

Day 287: Heart full of heroine

You
Look for any chance to escape
Follow the direction the needle points
Down dirt roads in dusty veins
Willing to put the chains around your neck
To pretend that you are free
Come back down crashing to the earth
Leave yourself hanging in a tree
And I can't say I'll cry for you
But I'm sad to see you leave
When the play had just begun
And it was almost your turn to speak
Whether it was stage fright or an aversion to light
I'll never know what made you run away
But I know you finally found the high
The permanent escape

Day 286: Crazy bill the sailor

Keep the skin lightly oiled
Head gently wrapped in aluminium foil
Strut the streets in dirty sheets proclaiming you're bloodline is royal
Crazy from birth up until the return to the soil

bonus: madworld remix

I've just been sitting
Hiding my head
Drowning my sorrow
Waiting for the day I feel good
Happy birthday
Look right through me
Familiar faces
No expression
Going no where
No Tomorrow
Waiting for the day I feel good

Day 285: MC

Explosive like semtex
Demolishing club decks
Getting a gag reflex
When I try to hold it in
The power in the words
The nouns and the verbs
I'm about to let it rip
Demolish this lets begin

Unrestrained I can't be tamed
Addict to the fame once i feel it in my veins
Driving me insane as I start to change the game
After this exchange you'll never be the same
Ooo wait a minute
Let me spit this slow
Split the metronome
So that the listeners can know
The reason that I flow
Like the seasons melting snow
I cause chest heaving heavy breathing
In every frequency that's radioed

Day 284: Word Association

eyes cry acerbic tears till dry
bleeding freezing stone cold capillaries leaking pooling grief
unable to stand face plants lands heavy trying to function on shifting sands
brands cram shams shaming parents empty pockets
Please god stop it
Please god stop it

Day 283: Words Like Leaves v 2

I wanted to thank you for your words
For thinking before you set them free
Because regardless of whether or not you meant it
Those words spoke to me
Your words gave me hope
When I couldn't see anything certain
When others evaded being vulnerable
You opened up like a curtain
And your stage was lit the orchestra ready
As you delivered your lines
And from your heart pouring out your mouth
Came a million fireflies
That led me back onto the path
When I was lost in the dark of the night
And continued to lead me until I was sitting
Safe on the other side
The were the rain during a drought
Or an umbrella in the rain
They were a empty car with a big back seat
Where I could fall asleep safe
They were a bandage on my bleeding heart
They were a cure for inconsolable pain
And really all your words
Are the reason I am who I am today
Which isn't nearly perfect
But still wakes up every day
With hope enough to take head on
Whatever comes his way
And it's because of you
So I guess what I'm trying to say
Is just a simple word
So here it goes. Thanks.

Day 282: We All Fall Slowly

We all fall slowly
And float like we're the drowned
With our trains of thought
Running dirty coal
From broken mining towns

And we all fall slowly
Until we hit concrete
Where the shock of earth
Breaks the dream
Like a forty ounce shattering

Day 281: Ritual Regretter

A little self involved
A lot more self derisive
I can't stop hating how I act
The sum of all my vices
It's greater than the parts
And makes me a ritual regretter
Am I alone in being over powered
Or does everyone else just hide it better?

Day 280: Poetic Booby Trap

I'm a half assed poet
Leaving lines on the ground
Tripping over trip wires
Of explosive vowel sounds.

Day 279: Lonely With a Conscience

These are a little late and a little short, but I'm in NC having a huge drunk pollock party with my family so words here are typically less than elegant.

I'm up here on my own
And it get's damn lonely
So won't those of you who grew a conscience
Step up and join me?

Day 278: Something Not Plastic

I've been trying desperately
For these last 23 years of static
To touch something that I was sure
Wasn't made of plastic

To put something in my pocket
And feel its weight as I'm walking
Around people window shopping
From their tv sets and couches

But all I've ever felt
After swimming through the cotton stopper
Was that the plastic experiences
Are fueled by pill poppers

So I’m bitter as a tylenol
As I chew and refuse to swallow
To get myself to throw it up
And carve my own path to follow

Day 277: Lost Prophet

I'm a lost prophet
With a marker and a compass
But no map to chart a path
And no determination to follow it
Nothing in my pocket
But a matchbook and a tract
Trying to make you turn your back
On the life you led that lacked
Any sorta substance
You just floated day to day
On a balloon filled with your apathy
That carried you away
And now you can't get down
Until you really want it
So I'm sitting with a megaphone
Whispering directions on how to pop it
I won't shoot it down
Until you nod consent
So I'm hoping that this beat is banging
Hard enough to make your necks bend
So fill me in
Does it sounds like it'd be fun
To play a helium version of William tell
You have the apple I have the gun
And without the shot more likely than not
You're never come back down
But until then I'll continue to stand
On this soapbox rooted to the ground and shout out loud.

Day 276: Frosty

I lost respect
Long ago
Somewhere in
A bank of snow
Where I lay face down
Hiding from the wind
But it blew and it blew
Again and again
And I just didn't want to feel
So I iced up my nerves
Sheathing them in steel
So I'd never feel again
But then again who'd wanna be friends
With frosty the snowman.

Day 275: Random Thoughts

I'm a noise picking sampler
Ticking metronome necromancer
Crate digging freelance
And lover of hiphop

Day 274: I do believe

I believe in keeping a promise
Until the day that you die
And I believe in being honest
Over hiding in a lie

Day 273: Injustice League

You gave him the best years of your life
Gave up your career trying to be a good wife
Gave up partying with friends, sitting with him instead
Every night as he got drunk passing out on the bed
And You don't think he's controlling, he's just trying to protect you
Which is why you chose to lie about the bruises after he decks you
Falling down the stairs doesn't give you a black eye
But with enough cover up you start to buy the lie
And your friends have been telling you that you should move on
But you've been rooted in polluted putrid relationshit too long
When you finally wake up, when enough is too much to stand
You wonder how you could handle ever being touched again
Years of therapy down the road a protected heart that's stone cold
And broken pieces barely held together by elmer's glue
This is your ticket to

To everyone with broken hearts
Who will never love again
Welcome to injustice league
Complete with vengeful super friends
We got what you need
Stay a while, come inside
We all have the exact same scars
But here we don't need to hide

Day 272: I've Seen enough to know

I've seen enough to know
That I've seen enough and It's more than I can hold
This world is full hate
And I can't trust a heart that's turned to stone
When I'm trying to keep from folding
While the wild storms keep on blowing
The windows of my glass house out
The shards are covering the floor and
I've found out this one secret
Trust no one die lonesome
Better at the hands of a stranger
Than the loaded gun your best friend's holding

Day 271: Words Like Leaves v 1

I keep your words in my pocket
On a folded paper piece
When I'm down I pull it out
And read it a few times silently
I laugh when I realize
You probably already forgot them
Probably never meant to drop them
Thought you lost them like leaves in autumn
But I watched them drop
Picked them up dried them out
And I recited them in my room
Until my muscles memorized my mouth
I left them pressed between the pages
Of my life's story
The weight of whats after atop
And the weight below of what's before me
And I hung those fresh pressed words
Above my bed and read silently
Until my eyes grew too heavy to hold
And I drifted off to sleep
Where I dreamed in words I never spoke
Until I thought in calligraphy
Until the echo's of your voice
Bounced back sounding like me
And I believed everything
The cave walls echoed back
And the darkness of the underground
Began to break and crack
The light's rays poured through
Chasing shade away
Illuminating the dark space
And suddenly I wasn't afraid

Day 270: Pieces of my heart

When you left me months ago
You took pieces of me
Leaving me clutching helplessly
At a hollow chest cavity

For all the world to see
The scars are works of art
The body rebuilding what you took away
The pieces of my heart



getting ahead finally.... from 5 days late to two hours early

Day 269: The Letter For My Past

I thought about this letter long before I put the pen to paper
I'd sit down to write it freak out and try to finish it later
Or sit on the couch in an attempt to forget that it rested incomplete
At the nightstand next to my bed staring at me as I tried to sleep
When I finally wrote a line I started back from scratch
I crumpled it up and threw in in the trash, and then later went back
And tried to smooth the creases
Hoping they didn't form a map detailing the completeness of my weakness
Curled up like a fetus I've been running out of ink
Because I draw out all my feelings for a moment to think
I inject it in my veins hoping that it reaches my brain
So I can get some clarity to these dreams in water color paint
And all the colors shifted
The edges blurred beyond recognition my notes to self come out encrypted
And I fear the permanence of the words that I write
Will make real the nightmares that haunt me throughout the night
Flashbacks to days when you crippled me to my core
When you used me and abused me as your emotional whore
Who would be through the night who ever you wanted me to be
And when the morning came you'd kick be back out onto the street
And while you took me in you ravaged my heart
Using the words "I love you" to tear me apart
And even though it was years ago it still ripples through my life
Causing me to cower at the emotional advances of my wife
And the echos of your voice bounce from dark corners in the house
As I drink myself to sleep trying to drown the sound out
Because I don't have the courage to tell you what I think
To tell you I deserved better than how you treated me
When I finally wrote the letter I folded it with care
I addressed it to myself and left it in the attic somewhere
And written on the page were the words I needed desperately
To hear from you those years ago and so I wrote
"You. Are. Free."

Day 268: Effit

Never was one for office politics
Regardless of the pressure I refused to follow it
While everyone was kissing ass i was speaking the truth
Whether or not I felt they could swallow it

Day 267: Fate

Fate's got cogs
That it doesn't want to show
It's just a big black box
Without a window
Keeps its secrets safe
A man behind the curtain
Fun house mirrors and rolling smoke
To disguise that he's been hurting
Tortured by his conscious
Because nothing seems the same
All that the years had proven certain
Dissolving yesterday
He said he had a grip
But it's starting to slip
Because a fate isn't certain
Every decision causes a shift
Free will
Free won't
Fate's sealed
Or blown
Cause every step falls just out of line
Cogs turn
But what
Do they connect
Or are they superfluous
We'll never know until the machine says its our time

Day 266: The Walk

I've been knocked off balance
I've been bucked from the horse
But I'll be damned if life succeeds at
Throwing me off of my course
My path has been set
Haven't slept since the start
Now I take every step
Like I'm fumbling in the dark
Cause there ain't so sun
In the hustle of the day
Just the shadows from the building
Blocking out the sun's ray
And the disgusting path I follow
Etched in dirty sidewalk gray
That's been sucking at my soles
Trying to steal my color away
But they can't have it
It's what sets me apart
A gray matter mass wrapped in pink flesh
A walking piece of art
What once a weakness
Is now a source of strength
My longer mentality
Let me break away
From the herd and the words
They recycled every day
Self destructing in their never ending
Fiending for the fame
So I walk these streets
On the journey that I sought
I thought it was about the destination
But it's really about the walk

Day 265: Word Smith

Word Smith
Sharp with the quick wit
Hold tight to the flow
Before you know you gonna get sick
Fill phrases so fast
My metaphors can't fully fit
The space between the walls of your skull
Where I inject it

Day 264: More than Words

These are more than just words
This is my soul
This is my life
This is all I know
So hold them tight to your chest
Don't ever let them go
Hold them tight to your chest
So you can feel your heart's flow

Day 263: American Pride

Yo I be the Yank
Extra petrol in the tank
Burnin rubber after takin
All the Benjis out the bank
Resources been outsourced
I'ma bring 'em back
No defense like a good offense
You know I'm on the attack
Flag hanging out my pocket
To let you know I represent
The Red the white the blue
Got no reason to repent.

Day 262: Jack The RIpper's Silent Prayer

So, four days behind. terrible week. But the nice thing about no one reading your blog is no one can hold you responsible for slipping behind.

Jack The Ripper's Silent Prayer

Help me please
For the love of god
Someone stop me
Before I go to far
I can't control
This murd'rous instinct
I can't seem to kill
The killer in me.....

Day 261: The come down from the laughing high

I laughed until I cried
And as I my dried my tired eyes
I realized
The tears were because I had no joy left inside.

Day 260: Is there a reason

Is there a reason I can't trust
The only person I can control?
Is there a reason that my inner demons
Wage war with angels for my soul?
Is there a reason that I can't seem
To be who I want to be?
Is there a reason that I'm terrified
Of being stuck with me?

Day 259: I love that sound

The sound
I threw a roll of quarters
And the echo was ka-ching
The sound I sought was found
I heard the diamond in the ring
The passion and the power
The source of energy
Was enough to turn my world around
And leave me panting, dizzy.
In the shifting world
The visions spun so swift
But it was pure rapture
To bask in the music.

Day 258: Insomnia

I can't sleep
Day dreams of drowning keep my tossing and turning for weeks
Unending to do lists on little yellow stickies
Smother me under their weight and I can't breathe
I lay gasping

Up all night
Hoping that my brain will stop running around
Allowing my body to reunite with the ground
Hoping that in sleep the peace of death can be found
Until Morning

Day 257: Do What You Do

How do you do it?
What magic do you mix?
Teach me the ways of the
Music alchemist
Show me the patterns
How to read the runes
The loga-rythmic frequencies
That cut right through
Let me sit and watch
And learn all that I can
Let me outwit the fates
Becoming more than they planned
Show me this power
I'll use it for good
I'll wrestle it and meditate
To make sure it's understood
I'll go for sleepless nights
Do all that I can
'Cause lets just face it
Tiesto, You're the man.

Day 256: Art of Trance

Open up
Feel the flow
Let it take
Over your soul
Give into
The madening dance
Swept away
By the art of trance



... it feels real good to get back to my roots

Day 255: Accidental Prophesy

Was it a sign?
Were those words for me?
Or were they afterthoughts of the tongue
Strewn carelessly.
It really doesn't matter
If it was divine or chance
Because it's what I needed to hear
To hope, to dream, to dance.

Day 254: Indwelling

The body is suspended
In an amethyst nebula
Ever rising
Slow and determined
Light escapes
Exiting through eyes and mouth
In laser concentrations
Causing the skin
To emanate an amber hue
The heart is visible
Through the diaphanous chest
Beating beating beating
As the purple mist
Revolves and shifts
With the pumping of the pure light
Through the veins

Day 253: Do I have the courage to give up comfort?

Hey, I know I'm two behind. Had a crazy weekend.



Would I prefer
To work with the earth
Toil with my hands in the dirt?

Could I cut it
Giving up comforts
To find the good life buried under it

Day 252: Letter to my unborn child 2

You're a young adult now
And it's been a pleasure to watch you grow
To watch you develop a sense of right and wrong
A sense of judgment to decide which to choose
And a conscience to keep you honest to yourself
First under our guidance
Then on your own
More beautiful still is seeing who you've become
Human
Flawed but self aware
They say a mark of intelligence is self awareness
An understanding of being-ness
A characteristic innate to all humans
I, however, have observed otherwise
I've seen men and women grow to a ripe old age
And never become aware of what they are
Of what they've become
They continue running with their self inflicted limps
But you
You have seen it
You have found a way to step outside of your self
You have taken the part of the impartial observer
And weighed your self
Weighed your actions against your ideals
And found that you live in the paradox
Of being yourself but not measuring up to yourself
This is half the battle
You are now weak
As most of humanity is
As our culture has proselytized us to be
But you have the potential for incredible strength
You have the potential to surpass yourself
You have the potential
Now you are in need of constant supervision
But with the impartial observer's interception of enough close calls
You will surprise even yourself
I write this to you as much as I write it to myself
Like it or not I am a part of you
And I only hope that I found my way through
And paved a route complete with road signs and way markers
Before I brought you on this journey called life
Pray for me
We both will need it.

Day 251: Scapegoat

I've been through the sad days
The rough days
The I've had more than enough days
The days you wished you'd stayed in bed

I've been through the long days
The hard days
The leave you bruised and scarred days
The days you pray you'll never have again

I've been through the gray days
The slow days
The stagnant lack of flow days
The days that leave you completely hopeless

I've been through the tense days
The strained days
The strung out driven insane days
The days you don't have any of your rope left

I've been through these days
And come out alive
I've written them down
In verse and in rhyme
I've been through the pain
To get to the truth
So that you can find comfort and strength
As you make your own way through

Day 250: Weebles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down

Six times I've fallen
Bent but not broken
Eyes turned to the sky
I'll rise seven times

Day 249: To My Mom and My Sister....

YOU'RE MOST BEAUTIFUL WHEN

You're most beautiful when...

When your smile isn't hidden by layers of lipstick
When your dimples aren't dulled by caked on cover up
When the spark in your eyes isn't imprisoned by fake lashes
When the grays in your hair count the years that you've loved
When you laugh only when you can't hold it back
When you eat what you like without watching your waist
When hurtful words are just someone's opinion
And they roll off your skin like drops of rain

When you haven't had a chance to look in the mirror
Because you've been too busy putting others first
You look most beautiful when secure in your skin
And when you hide it with make up, you look your worst.

Day 248: Sometimes Life Feels Like....

Bring me down again
So I can rise up
Oppress me again
So I can fight back
Lie to me again
So I can find the truth
Leave me again
So I can come back to you

Day 247: Prayer 2

God forgive me
There are so many things I have done
That shame me
There are so many paths I have walked
That misled me
There are so many people I have listened to
That lied to me
There are so many opportunities to stand strong
That escaped me
There are so many thoughts I have had
That controlled me
And none of them good.
Let me do your work
And free me
Let me walk the road you planned
And lead me
Let me listen to your words of truth
And enlighten me
Let me stand when I don't have the strength
And uphold me
Let me meditate on you
And control me
For good.

Day 246: Mole Man

It's a warm sunny day
But I could never tell
Unless I saw it on tv
Cause i'd never have seen it myself
I don't know how long it's been
Since I was last outside
To breathe in atmosphere
To feel the open sky
But my life has brought me here
To toil in societies cellar
Deep deep beneath the earth
A world of pipes and pillars
I dream of leaving here
To return never more
But I can't get the courage
To walk out that front door
It's safe here in this cave
It's all I've ever known
Outside may be my dream destination
But this right here is home.

Day 245: Yup, Still Hate The Television

Give me a moment free
Of that abomination called t.v.
And I'll show you were intelligence grows

I find solace in the silence
Devoid of sex and violence
In this tv free land I call my home

Day 244: Cranky

I'm sorry that I snapped
This hasn't been my day
Or my week or month or year
But that's no excuse for acting this way
I'm almost halfway there
Now that I've seen the mean
The next step is to catch it
Before it's once again free
I'll try a little harder
To fasten down my tongue
But please stick with me a little longer
And I won't let you down.

Day 243: One foot in heaven, One in hell

Heaven is real
Life with a purpose to improve life
A constantly perpetuating cycle
An infinite gain loop
Where life's purpose is not sustaining
But changing
Growing
And giving this gift to others

Hell is real
Life with no purpose
Falling back on basic instincts
A constantly devastating cycle
An infinite decay loop
Breaking order down into disorder
Where life's purpose is not sustaining
But changing
Destroying
And taking as many with you as possible

We are born not into heaven or hell
But the in between
And every action we take in life
Is one step either towards
The one or the other
I'm not afraid to die
I'll just end up where I last stepped
I'm afraid to live
And be required to take another step

Day 242: OH MY BACK!

OH MY BACK
I THINK IT SNAPPED IN HALF
I'M A LITTLE UNSETTLED
BY THAT BONE POPPING CRACK
THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE
MOST DEFINITELY NO THE FIRST TIME
I'VE TAKEN THREE ALEVE
AND WASHED IT DOWN WITH A GLASS OF WINE
BUT STILL THE ACHE IS THERE
IT ALL SEEMS OUT OF MY HANDS
I'M ONLY 23
WITH THE BACK OF AN 80 YEAR OLD MAN.

Day 241: Bleeding's Not That Bad

I bleed
But the pain begins to fade
I watch the blood pour from the wound
And yet I'm not afraid
I stare
And refuse to break my gaze
I stand in simple silence
Become my own master in the pain

Day 240: Ride The Rhythm Far Away

I need escape
I'm bound to explode
Stretching to the extent of my skin
Another day
Doing what I'm told
Feeling caged, fenced in

But I'll go home
Put my head phones on and
I'll ride the rhythm far away from here
I'll lay back
With my favorite track and
I'll ride the rhythm far away from here
Cause in the kick and the snare
The world fades away
And the strings sing a lullaby to me
So I'll fill my chest with the bass
And fall away from this place and
I'll ride the rhythm far away from here

My patience is thin
My anger is showing
It flares like a solar wind
I'm slipping again
My emotions are throwing
My head round as the world starts to spin

Day 239: How Happy I am to have my FL studio back

I got it at last
I drilled a hole in my skull
And let the songs escape
Let the words bleed to the page
My subconscious is messy
Unable to speak the language
But trying desperately to communicate
The babble and jargon
Begin to take shape
And compose themselves
In patterns and bars
Notes and scales
Verse and chorus
And then it rests again

Day 238: Why-ku

I can write more words
Enough to fill a page but
I've found less is more

Day 237: In a tizzy

My head is spinning
Spinning
Spinning
As my eyes try to track my thoughts

I feel I'm swimming
Swimming
Swimming
Through a sea of fog

My thoughts are slipping
Slipping
Slipping
As I try to catch each one

My words are tripping
Tripping
Tripping
As they stumble from my tongue

Day 236: Sometimes I Can't Stand the People I Work With

Why do I give you the power
To control the outcome of my day
I say it's your fault I'm upset but it's not
Yet I believe it anyway
I come undone at your poisonous words
Your acerbic off hand remarks
The arrogant way you undermine me
And attempt to keep me in the dark
I just need to brush you off
Keep my head cool, my skin thick
Cause my day shouldn't be F#%@ed over
By someone who's such a dick

Day 235: A Clandestine Meetings

Hey, realize that i'm shy like three days. I'll be making them up, hopefully today. Had a rough time in NY the last two days at LaGuardia airport and had no time to write poetry and stuffs.




I'm sorry about the hour
But I'm running out of time
They're tracking my every move
And soon they're gonna find
My location and my contacts
But I still have some hope
That what I'm about to tell you
Won't just seem like a joke
They've bugged our telephones
Our computers too
They know exactly where and when and
Why and how we do
And you're my last hope
You have to see me through
Oh no! that empty look in your eyes.
They already got to you....

Day 234: Computer Problems

Ones and zeros
As simple as it may be
Is driving me absolutely crazy

Flawless logic
But the understanding takes patience
It get's so convoluted during the application

I can't understand
I'm trying to control this machine
But it seems the machine is really controlling me

Day 233: Determination

Drops of liquid metal
Courses through the veins
Steeling shaky nerves
Sharpening the brain
Pupils dilate
Pulse rate starts to peak
Breath is drawn in like the tide
Then exhaled steadily
Gaze remains unbroken
Jaw muscles stay clenched
Heels dug deep into the earth
Leave the warrior entrenched
No thoughts of retreat
The only option is to win
Walk away with head held high
Or carried in a coffin

Day 232: Obsessed

Rabid as a pit bull
Foaming at the mouth
Hot headed as a fever
In the summer in the south
Focused as a laser
Driven through a lens
Concentrated like a liquor
Distilled again and again
Nothing's going to stop me
Until I reach the end

Day 231: A Prayer for Courage

Lord I come before you now
As I have many a time
Asking for you to grant me courage
To straighten out this spine
To stand beneath the crushing weight
Of the world upon my back
Lord leave me no retreat
As the enemy attacks
Lord give me legs as strong as iron
To stand firmly in place
Give me the strength to change what I can
And for what I can't, give me grace

Day 230: Living in the Tension

Living in the tension
Neither angel nor animal
A soul with physical needs
Instincts with control
Caught up in the middle
Of all of God's creation
And made this way on purpose
For a purpose

Day 229: You're Gone

I've sat on cold winter days
And cried my tear ducts dry
Frozen in my place
As my tears had turned to ice

And I've tossed within my sleep
As dreams of you played on
And I've lost my sense of self
As I listened to our song

And You're Gone
But on snowy days
I see your face
As the snow flakes fall
And the muffled screams
Of my nightmares
Don't seem so close at all
BUt you're gone
And all I want to do
Is give up all of me
Just to be with you

Day 228: Constant Apology

I'm gonna open up to you
Tell you what I'm going through
A crisis of faith, and of self worth
Unsure of what I'm supposed to do
Twenty three years and a couple odd days
I've been lost and wandering
And only six of these have been spent
Aware of this and pondering
Repeatedly I'm seeing me
Do the things I don't want to be
But undoubtedly I cowardly
Shrink from standing steadfastly
I'm a victim of my fears
And a victim of my vices
I'm cringing at each passing
Tick as the second hand advances
Hoping I can hide away
As judgment day draws near
Knowing that I'm not the man
I was commanded to be here
Like the vineyard worker
That hid his masters cash
My masters coming back
And I'd bet it all he'll whoop my ass
I gotta make a stand
But you know that I'm afraid to
My back bone left me long ago
And I can't rise above the pavement
So I'm telling him ahead of time
I've failed him miserably
And I'm hoping that he builds me back
To the man I'm meant to be
I've done this all before
And I'll do it all again
Because I'm a constant apology
A sorry excuse for man.

Day 227: SLINKY!

I drift one way
Then immediately return
I shiver like jello
And wiggle like a worm
I come in many sizes
From enormous down to dinky
I'm family fun for everyone
The on and only slinky

Day 226: Did I Lose it

Did I lose it?
Or just let it be?
Is it who I was?
Or who I was to be?
Is there any way
I can feel incomplete?
From the lack of the life
That never belonged to me?

Day 225: Lost Again

I stopped my wandering mind
To see what I left behind
Just empty foot prints in the snow
In a long unbroken line

Empty thoughts along the way
No focus or direction
A way ward walk through snow draped woods
Losing my self in reflection

Day 224: Traeme Paz

Traeme Paz

When the pressures pile up
Like shingles on a roof
And the very weight of what must be done
Breaks the back of the one to do

And the thinking ahead
Designed to prepare
Leads to failure
As well as despair
Let me shuck
Each shingled weight
Lighten my load
Until I break
Right on through
Until i sleep
Under open air
Midnight breeze

When I leave my protective shell
Of lists and plans and to-dos
Let the dark clouds send me rain
Bring me peace, wash me through

Day 223: Can You Help Me?

Can you help me?
Create the clasp to finally to close this?
Unblurr my edges to regain focus?
Pull back the curtains so I can show this?
Warm me up to de thaw my frozen
Heart?
Can you keep me?
Crisp like a leaf from an autumn tree?
Fluid like the rolling waves of the sea?
Unable to lie, too filled with honesty?
True to myself, to who I want to be?
Can you?

Day 222: My Prayer

I'm reaching out
But I'm so damn weak
I'm screaming in a whisper
For you to hear me
I'm chasing after you
But I'm paralyzed right here
I'm calling out for help
With this, my prayer

Day 221: Removing Romance

Removing Romance

What is the mind
But a mass of gray
What is the night
But the absence of day
What is the heart
But a pumping time piece
What is love
But a hormone release

Day 220: Safety In Routine

Safety in routine
The structured day can create
A net to catch peace

Day 219: Slot Machines

Sorry, I realize I'm late once again, but my wife's parents and aunts were up for the weekend and wanted desperately to go to a casino last night.....


Blinking lights
Blaring sounds
Hallways that twist
Endlessly around
And I hate it all

Slot machines
Ancient folks
Pushing buttons
No controls
And I hate it all

Win a bit
Lose a lot
Suck you in
Takes all you got
And I hate it all

Day 218:

They say I'm completely crazy
But they're only half right
My thoughts are so dark
I need a flash light
Murky as a glass of milk
In the pitch of night
I swim through thoughts that swirl about
And don't seem like they're mine
Voices float in vapor form
Commanding me to perform
While others shout to stop it now
Demanding I conform
Which ones do I listen to
How do I discern my own
I'll have to go with my gut
Knowing I can never know

Day 217: Night after Night

Warning: slightly adult content. Tasteful, not over graphic.




Night after Night


I drag my fingers across your skin
To learn the language of your curves
I wait impatiently, let me in
Before I lose my nerves
Let me fill you all the way
And then a little more
I'll work you 'till the break of day
And leave your body sore
Aching for another chance
To feel my touch again
That I may relearn all your curves
And drag my fingers across your skin

Day 216: Touch of Darkness

There's a little touch of darkness
I feel incomplete without
Staring our the window
Of my apartment looking down
Watching the rain falling
It's cathartic how it drowns
The bubbly fake people creates
And keeps me fastened to the ground.

Day 215: Indigo

A melancholy hue
Somewhere between violet and blue
Some call it indigo
I call it my life without you





......and I'm finally caught up.

Day 214: Please Snow Again

Please snow again
Let the feathery flakes
Muffle the unbearable din
Of life lumbering on and on and on

Please snow again
Cover the landscape in a blanket
Tucking the world in
Letting it find peace in it's sleep

Please snow again
Let me see my breath and know
That I am really living
And I stand out in the middle of the snow

Day 213: Flash of Pain

The pain is sharp
Blinding white
In a flash
I close my eyes
Tight until
The flash subsides
Then I see the little pain
Behind a big flashlight

Day 212: Not Who I am

Anglo-Saxon of Scandinavian Descent
This is not who I am
Electrical Engineer and Mathemetician
This is not who I am
Total Nerd, Sci-Fi Geek
This is not who I am
Die hard fan of Rod Serling
This is not who I am
Middle Class Suburbanite
This is not who I am
Ohio born Loyal Buckeye
This is not who I am
Christian, Liberal
This is not who I am
Sarcastic, Literal
This is not who I am
I am human
Unable to be boxed in
Encompassed only
By my skin
I don't know
Who I am
But I know
That I am
And that is all that matters

Day 211: Holly would

If Hollywood could
Then my life should
Will only bring you hell
Cause if Hollywood biz
Sold life as it is
Then Holly-would not sell

Day 210: Sunrise and Suicide

If I had a gun
I'd wake up early in the morning
I'd walk out and watch the sunrise
Feeling rays causing skin warming

I'd look out to the sky
Smile on my face getting bigger
Press the pistol to my temple
Sigh a prayer and pull the trigger

Day 209: Tired

I used to be tired
Of waiting for a miracle
Then I grew tired
From being so damn cynical
I grew tired of being impatient
I grew tired of being angry
Constantly exhausted
With the hands the fates gave me
I grew tired of being broken
I grew tired of my fear
I grew tired of watching everything
I turned to for help disappear
I grew tired of losing passion
As life slowly smothered the fire
And now it's all gone
And I'm just tired of being tired.

Day 208: I've had better...

I've had better days
In most of my night mares
I've had better nights
The nights you weren't there
I've had better mornings
When all alone cooking breakfast
I've had better evenings
Every evening that I fell asleep
Without you making me
Feel worthless


I still owe for Sunday.....

Day 207: I Can't Catch Up

I know I'm behind a day, but I've been sick and busy with work for the last two days and I'm still trying to catch up.

I Can't Catch Up


I can't catch up
With the earth's dizzying pace
It turns its back
It turns its front
Then once again hides its face

With each rotation
I struggle to get my bearings straight
Just when I'm starting
To get it all down
The game is once again changed

I'm so far behind
And the world keeps moving on
It seems that just
As I catch up to the dusk
I'm left behind by the dawn

Day 206: Dr, J, Mr. H

Am I Dr. Jekyll
I'm really not that sure
It says so on my license
And my certificate of birth
But certain hours of my life
Are less than just a blur

For hours into the night
I can't quite say that I was there
The memory swirls like an oil slick
Acting as a foggy mirror
I see a face that's quite like mine
Only wild eyes and crazy hair

And behind these eyes
I can see the people in the street
As I crush them heads
With my big feet
And make them scream and cry
CUZ I R MR. HYDE

Day 205: Bowling.....

Bowling.....

The only game
Where you don't have to be
In any shape
To professionally
Play while drink
To play while you eat
It makes me think
It's what I'd like to be

Day 204: Freestyle with Eric

Sneakers over telephone wires
Lost the beat that moved them
Hung themselves in the very
Streets that proved them
Cause Hip hop is dead
But it thrives in the dives
In the back alley ways
Where brothers keep it alive
Where we freestyle
Straight off the block
With a swisher in hand
And a hand on our cock
Saying you don't wanna bring it
My flow's straight sick
Every body on your block
Knows that I bring it
It's not just my imagination
Get ready for the conflagration
Rain down fire on your asses
A Brimstone precipitation
We bringing it back
To the roots where it was bred
We keep providing for the game
Makin sure it stays fed
Cause it feeds our soul
Keeps us alive
Freestylin when we meet
To make sure hip hop survives

Day 203: Cable Sucks

No amount of will
Is ever gonna freeze
The constant bombardment
of the televised disease
Consumerism breeds
As long as you will watch
Feeding constantly
Until you are brainwashed
Zombi-fied
Glaze-ed eyes
Dilated
Blood shot
Life unlived
It won't end
Until you pull
The plug out

Day 202: She Thinks My Protractor's Sexy

I can derive you all night
I can calculate the way to your heart
Tally it up on my abacus
And divide your legs apart

"Is that your ruler baby?
Or are you just happy to see me
How bout you measure my inner dimensions
And we can go get freaky
Go Go gadget gadget
I'm a love machine baby
I know tonight's my lucky night cause she
Thinks my protractor's sexy

She likes when I talk nerdy
When I slap that asymptote
When I pull her variables
And when I isolate her isotope





Yeah, that was pretty pathetic

Day 201: Losing Hope Again

How am I supposed to praise
And sing songs of joy and gladness
When I see the world you made
And how full it is of sadness
When I see children
Getting raped and beaten
When I see junkies
In alleyways fiending
When I see a family
With a father never there
Children joining gangs
And a mother that doesn't care
And nobody tries to fight it
They take it keeping quiet
They crumple with the world around
As it's slowly set on fire
It's a nation masturbatin
Strokin it's own ego
Collective self gratification
The only thing that they know
I wish that it were different
Why can it not be so
I'm doing what I can
But I'm slowly losing hope
Hold me up to the light
Watch me shine just as bright
As all the stars and the moons
And the Suns in the sky
Before I get snuffed
By this world, it's too much
And I'm worried that I won't make it
I'll be extinguished. Puff.

Day 200: Why I Won't Quit.

I'm tired
But I am pushing through
I feel like giving up
But I continue to pursue
The prize is for the winner
But my chances of winning are slim
Yet they're infinitely greater
Than they'd be if I gave in

Day 199: My life as an academic

I'm preparing
For the greatest test of my life
And I WILL ace it.
I will cram for years
I will study everything
Things I'm good at
And things I'm really bad at.
Cooking, languages, math
Literature, mechanics, electricity
Quantum physics, sports, and social interactions
I will study for years
But for a test with no set testing date
Life's pop quiz
That may never actually happen
But I'll continue studying
And hopefully, I will get the chance
To test all I've prepared for.

Day 198: Growing Up Sucks

As I grow older
My chores take over
What I used to call free time
I used to have video games
Fill up my days
But now that's all a past life
I talk about tax rates
And mortgages and banks
Instead of what was on tv
Now I just wish
I get rid of this
And get back my kid mentality

Day 197: I'm Lost

I'm lost...
But I think I'm ok with it.

I used to worry when my course was not mapped
When the path's I walked were new to the grass
And when I looked over my shoulder I saw no way back

But now I'm at peace
The echo's of my breath against the trees
Calm me like my mother's heart beat

And I'm all alone
And though I'm miles from my family and home
I have no desire to return to what I've known

I'll just lie here on my back
Make my bed against the grass
Let the darkness hold me in it's grasp

I fought this for so long
My conscience crushed thinking it was wrong
Until finally I succumbed losing all my numb

I squeezed my eyes tight
Shutting out all traces of light
Bracing for the impact, the bite

But it never came
It turns out I'm just the same
Only I'm not fatigued by the strain

Of holding out
I'm just on my own
I'm lost
But I think
That this is where I prefer to be

Day 196: Which will you feed

A wise man once told me
While staring into a flame
Every man has two dogs inside
That fight in order to gain
An advantage over each other
One is dark and one is light
They've been battling since the day you were born
Since you learned wrong from right
"Which one wins" I asked him
His wizened eyes locked on me
"I thought it would be obvious son,
It's whichever one you feed."

Day 195: Life like a dog

Sorry it's late again. Crazy week.





I can't tell you who I am
Because I change as quick as the wind
Like a pitbull I latch on
To whatever falls in my mouth
I run with it untill my legs
Give out from the exhaustion
Then I drop it to get a drink
To parch my dusty throat
And realize I'm lost again
So I pick up a stick and run

Day 194: Forgive Me Now For Who I Was Then

Forgive me now
For who I was then
If I could take it all back
I'd start from scratch again

I'd do things right
The second time around
I'd become the son you always wanted
I swear I'd make you proud

I'd become the boy friend
You'd want to be seen with
I'd be sexy, charming, polite, and strong
I'd have your heart and have earned it

I'd become the husband
That day I vowed I'd be
For richer for poorer, sick or healthy
To have and to hold you closely

I'd become the father
My daddy taught me to be
I'd always let you know that you
Are the best thing that ever happened to me

I'd become the friend
You could always count on
We'd weather the storms of life together
Keeping each other strong

I ask that you forgive me now
For I know what I was like
I can't change my past
But I'll do all I can to make my future right

Day 193: I hate rap videos

Sorry about the wait. Went 24 hours without cable (and therefore internet) and realized how much of my life I am throwing away in front of the television.



I'm not a liberal idiot
I'm just sick of always dealing with
This bunch of whiny over privileged
Babies called Americans
Cause heaven forbid that we raise our taxes
To teach our youth the gangsta life
In rap videos is all plastic
It's not real. won't last
You get busted by the police
Or get your ass capped
You never make the millions
You barely pay your bills and
Are always looking over your shoulder
With that paranoid feeling
Caused by drug dealing always watching your back
You never know when you'll get jumped
By a junkie smoking crack
So you better arm yourself
Make sure you got the biggest
Never mind the little fishes
put the biggest on their hit lists
Bleeding on the street
They'll realize this is it
The gangstas all will kill each other
Making all they earned worthless

Day 192: Find My Way

Sorry this is a bit late. Had a new addition to the family last night, An English Bulldog named BACON, and he sort of needed a lot of attention for his first night here.

Find My Way

I've been sifting through the ashes
Of my former life without my glasses
Hoping I could find my way again

But all I have are sooty hands
Broken dreams and ruined plans
And I can't find my way again

Day 191: Like a misty breath I'm gone

And on these cold winter nights
I can see my own breath
It makes me laugh cause I know
It's got more substance than I do.
No matter what I try to
I can't ever find the finish
So I quit when it gets to be
More than I can manage
I'm at a disadvantage
Not knowing who I am
I'm transparent as the frosty breath
I just exhaled again
If I could figure who I am
I could know what to do
But I keep staring at the mirror
Waiting to come in to view
A frosty breeze blows
And it sends my breath swirling
Unfurling me to the core
Knowing it's more than I deserve
I'm unnerved at the thought
That I'm about to disappear
Forever to be forgotten
Like I was never hear
And as the night gets colder
The breeze gets bolder
My boots make less of a dent
In the snowy road's shoulder
I'm starting to lose the sound
Of my feet pounding the ground
I look around and realize nothings left
My clothes are crumpled all around
I exhaled my last breath
And my essence just went with it
I'm swirling in the sky
As my mist becomes indeterminate
I'm fading quick
This is it
I'm beginning to disappear
I just wish
I'd made a difference
So someone would know that I was here

Day 190: Lonely in a crowd

I'm lonely
In a room full of phonies
The masks they wear don't hide
That everything they say's baloney
And they don't know me
But they act like they do
They don't care so they pretend
Their looks of concern are true
Makes me sick like the flue
Ties my stomach in knots
I'm fed up with their lies
With the bull shit that they talk
So i bounce down the street
Where nobody knows my name
It's better to disappear
Than hear the care that they feign
And i refrain from even talkin
To the guy behind the bar
Cause I'm sick of being lonely
And it's tearing me apart
Won't somebody save me
Won't someone say my name
With an ounce of conviction
Like I mean anything
But no nobody calls
And no nobody sees
So I drift into the background
Of faces places like the sea
So Jack and Johny walker
Gonna take the pain away
So I'm numb to the ice cold
Loneliness of my every day

Day 189: I need no beat

I wrote this verse without a beat
To turn up the heat
Let my heart play the kick
Share the rhythmic lick that runs through me
Undo me
Let me fall apart
Wrapped up in dusk
As the day turns to dark
Unimpressed with what I've seen
I'm changing the name of the game
At the end of it all only original
Rhymes will be allowed in play
My rhymes come straight from my life
I package them for you to hold
And the winters of my discontent
Might warm you to your soul
Poetic verse
Diary hearse
I'll pour my very heart onto this page
Until I feel it hurt
Then I'll push right through the pain
Until I'm an empty shell
And the messed up hell I call my thoughts
Will begin to order themselves
My release will be
In the form of calligraphy
A phoenix reborn
In the flames of tragedy
And from this fiery furnace
I'll burn away the worthless
Chaff that loads my back
Causing this crooked backbone to surface
Straighter than
A razors edge
A tightrope walk
On a canyon ledge
The courage I need despite the pain
To continue to push ahead
My verse will be out lastin me
Keepin posers from passin me
I wrote to the beat of my heart
Genuinely for the world to read

Day 188: Starving Poet

I'm a starving poet
And wouldn't you know it I'm here to stay
I pull your black heart out your chest
And hold it to you face
These words in these verses
Reflect like the surface of a mirror
A finger pointing at all your flaws
So you can see your hypocrisy a little clearer

Day 187: Nothing more Horrible

Let's meet at a bar
I'll pretend I don't know your name
I'll make a black and white painting
With a Jackson Pollock spraying
And splatter
Using my own gray matter
Speckled in red
Blood from my head
Hear the window shatter
I'll finger paint
But won't use my hands
I plan to use my wrists
Cause I just can't stand this
There's nothing more beautiful than this
There's nothing more horrible than this

Day 186: Worship Is

(Written to be spoken in a breakdown during Praise Adonai)

Stop
Listen to Him speak
Listen to your soul sing
Out a melody
Listen to the notes
Plucked on your heartstrings
The rhythm that is driven
By your pounding heart beat

Listen to the tales
He has to tell to you
Listen to your mission
As inhibitions cut loose
Listen to the swelling
Of the love growing in you
As you feel it start to move
As it starts to move you

So praise Adonai
Praise him under the moon
Praise him under the sun and stars
With all that is within you
Praise him with each breath you draw
'Cause it's more than due
And listen to the words he has
When he speaks to you

Day 185: Thoughts during Law And Order

Legally, it's tough
To get what it is you want
If you want justice

Day 184: I am different than you

Out of phase
Out of sync
I don't rely
On what you think
I step out
While you retreat
Cause I am different than you

Could you please
Quiet down
Your whining has
Grown to loud
You can't stand
That I am proud
To be different than you

I'm ok if
You don't like me
I won't flinch
If you want to fight me
I'll just smile
And wave politely
Cause I am different than you

Day 183: Spineless

I know this is at least a day late. I had a great weekend with a bunch of friends up from all over so they took precedent. I'll catch up before the Monday though.


Spineless


My finger bleeds
From the trigger squeeze
Cause i don't have the balls
To turn off the safety
But I don't have the spine
To keep living my life

Day 182: Binary Love

So this is a real poem, written in the binary form of ASCII, which is what most computers use. There's a website at the bottom that will translate it if you copy and paste it into it.

01010100
01101000
01100101
01110010
01100101
00100111
01110011
00100000
01100010
01100101
01100001
01110101
01110100
01111001
00100000
01101001
01101110
00100000
01100010
01101001
01101110
01100001
01110010
01111001
00001101
01000001
00100000
01110111
01101111
01110010
01101100
01100100
00100000
01101111
01100110
00100000
01100010
01101100
01100001
01100011
01101011
00100000
01100001
01101110
01100100
00100000
01110111
01101000
01101001
01110100
01100101
00001101
01000001
00100000
01101100
01101001
01101110
01100101
00100000
01100001
01110011
00100000
01100011
01101100
01100101
01100001
01110010
00100000
01100001
01110011
00100000
01100100
01100001
01111001
00100000
01100001
01101110
01100100
00100000
01101110
01101001
01100111
01101000
01110100
00001101
01000100
01101001
01110110
01101001
01100100
01101001
01101110
01100111
00100000
01110111
01110010
01101111
01101110
01100111
00100000
01100110
01110010
01101111
01101101
00100000
01110010
01101001
01100111
01101000
01110100


to translate to human speak, use this website

http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp

Day 181: I don't like where this is going

I don't like where this is going
Somewhere along the road ahead
I heard the screams of the undead
And It sent shivers to the very souls of my shoes.
But I can still smell your perfume...

And it drives me mad
An olfactory delivered opiate
That beckons me towards it
Uncontrollably I travel the trail of scent ahead
Dread increasing with each step

And I hate you
But I have to taste your lips again
I have to feel the adrenaline
The rush, the finger brush, its too intense
I have to feel your touch again.

I race ahead until I find
The trail goes cold in a yard of head stones
I whip my head to find you, but I'm all alone
I'm lost and my voice is hoarse from calling your name
I'll do whatever you want, whatever you say

I can't get away
I'm empty
Won't you tempt me once again

Day 180: I've Had Better Days

I've had better days than this
And I'd be remiss if i'd insist
That every day's a display
of picture perfect bliss

Two fists full of hair
Is the rating for the day
I'm displaying signs of crazy
Cause it's driving me insane

I'm losing all my steam
I'm unstitching at the seams
I'm barely breathing deep enough
to keep my sanity in one piece

Day 179: Trust No One

Trust no one
Live lonsome
Protect your heart
Before It's broken
Get that money
Ice till you're frozen
Knuck if they buck
Sayin you're posin as the chosen

Day 178: When the Bottle falls

I left all my past
On the shelf in a bottle
But it all came crashing down
From the force of the full throttle
Shock when I saw it my jaw
Dropped to the carpet my heart
Stopped about a moment
Longer than I wanted
And all these old feelings
Came pouring like a fountain
Drowning in thoughts I'd kept locked up
To be forgotten.
As I'm washed in the deluge
The after birth of after thought
I realized bottling your past isn't effective
When the bottle falls.

Day 177: I Pray

I look outside
My apartment window
And all I see
Are broken hearts and dreams
I see a world
Far far from where it should be
And I pray
I Say I pray
I pray

I pray for my people
The lost and the broken
For my neighborhood
And those without a home
I pray for the rescue
Of the broken families
And I pray
I pray
For redemption

I pray one day
We will all awake
Open our eyes and see
That when we fight
And steal and cheat
We hurt ourselves
And can't find peace

And it's been weeks and weeks
Of unanswered prayer
And I can't take any more
I swear
My hope and patience
Are starting to wear thin
But I drop to my knees one more time
I lift my hands to the sky and cry
Won't you rescue your children

Day 175: I'm not crazy

This is a real poem. There is rhyme and meter. Hopefully you can figure it out. Handed down from the ancient mayans......


I M W R I T I N G
B I T I N S A N I
A W O R L D W E N
M E I T E T E B A
E H R A Y H A U S
E T W W S I L T Q
S E L L I W L W U
Y L U R I N E H A
A M H C I H W E R

And this won't format correctly, which is bothering me,so try copying it down and keep it equally spaced IN A SQUARE, wink wink.

Day 174: I don't even know

I don't even know
What I want to be
So how can I prepare
For my life in front of me

I know I want to be happy
But can you get paid for that?
I doubt it
So I'll look for another career path.

How do you even know
What job will best suit you?
Maybe you should prepare
Not for work, but for you

Find out who you want to be
In a career vacuum
The job is just for money
But life is what you do.

Day 173: Travel Bug

Sorry this is late. Flew to LaGuardia for work, expecting to have internets but nope! so here is what i wrote but couldn't upload

I've been bitten by the travel bug
I feel the venom in my veins
It rushes through my finger tips
As it gains control of my brain

A metamorphisis begun
My body shakes uncontrollably
My instincs tell me to take flight
And find new grounds immediately

I need new colors I need new sounds
I need new freinds and food
I need to go where I've never been
And I need to do it soon

Dominos in the streets of Kingston
Cooking classes in the south of Italy
A vineyard tour in the hills of Spain
A stopover in Tokyo for sushi

An evening in the african bush
A Vodka toast in St. Peter's square
It doesn't matter where I go
It just matters that I was there.

Day 172: Passing through the twilight

Passing Through the Twilight

And I can see forever
It's not that far away
It lies just past the horizon
At the closing of the day
And I can hear eternity
As it gently calls my name
And as the sun begins to set
I'm no longer afraid.

Day 171: I can't keep a thought

I can't keep a thought
They slip through my fingers
Like grains of salt
And they pour from my head
Like a water fall
When my eyes turn left
They turn back right
And I can't seem to find them again

Day 170: Why I must be right.

Again, I realize i'm late, but had a big party yesterday with work people that went way way longer than I planned. I'll catch up today.

Agree to Disagree?
I resolutely think not
If you don't think like I think
It's obvious you're wrong

And if you are so wrong
I have to show the way
Cause I can't rest a single second
Till you agree with what I say

So I will have to argue
And even raise my voice
I may insult you personally
You left me with no choice

You have to agree with me
I must change your mind
Because if you don't agree
It could mean that I've
Been wrong
This entire time.......
And I can't live with that....

Day 169: Nervous

I'm nervous
Cause I'm sure this
Party will be a barrel full of awkward
My stomach
Can't cut it
And is doing flips trying to get out
In a moment
The party opens
And we see how things will go
I'll either get
All new friends
Or find new people to know

Day 168: Missin you.

Baby girl
I've been a bit confused
Cause I'm trippin flippin out
From crazy missin you
And I done some dumb things
And I've said some dumb stuff
But you know I've cleared my head
Long enough
Just long enough
To realize what you mean
Realize why I seem
To self destruct
And screw things up
Like I'm meant to be unhappy
But you're what I need
You make me complete
You are what I want
You're my everything
And I'm never gonna give
Never gonna quit
I'mma get my game right
Come back with the flashy finish
Last second
Score for the win
Meet you halfway
Then lead you to the end
I'm back in it
To win it
And I'm never gonna leave
And as long as I got you
I've got all I need

Day 167: Hard Day's Working

I'm tired
But I earned every ounce of this feeling
I worked consistently
Never ceasing through the evening

I'm sore
But it feels so good
To know I beat my body
Pushing myself as far as I could

I'm cranky
But it's because of all the above
So back off until I get some sleep
Cause tomorrow I'll be happy
But now I'll bite your head right off

Day 166: I'm Gonna Fly

Just gonna let it flow
Spittin it like you never seen
Blowin up on the scene
Record sales straight obscene

And i'm feelin so free
I'm feelin so high
Ain't no body gonna
Keep me on the ground
I'm gonna fly

Said I'm gonna fly
Said I'm gonna fly
You be standing on the ground
Scratching your head askin why

I ain't stickin around
You can figure it out yourself
I'm gettin the hell out of
This old creaky house


And i'm feelin so free
I'm feelin so high
Ain't no body gonna
Keep me on the ground
I'm gonna fly

Said I'm gonna fly
Said I'm gonna fly
You be standing on the ground
Scratching your head askin why

But I ain't tellin nothin
No matter what the price
Cause I said I'm gonna fly
You know I'm gonna fly

Day 165: Remixs of whiny bitches

If I could warp time and space
I think I'd just warp sound
And make remixes of conversations
That I hear going 'round.

That winy girl across the cafe
Complaining on her cell phone
Becomes a hot beat any rapper
Would be crazy not to own

Like O my
O my
O my Gawd
You can't
c-c-can't
be serious

I'm so fat
f-f-f-f-f-fat
My jeans
My jeans don't fit
f-f-fit

It's possibly the only way
I'd feel sane from day to day
Since all the drama they bring out
Is driving me cra-zay.

Day 164: I Never Knew

I never knew
What I could do
Until I had no choice

I never heard
A single word
Until I had no voice

I never thought
What I ought
Until I couldn't think

I never loved
Until enough
Was not enough for me

Day 163: I Saw the Hurtful Words

Sorry this is late. I was down in binghamton hanging out with a freind i hadn't seen in a while and didn't have my computer with me.

I Saw The Hurtful Words


I saw the hurtful words
Spewn from towers ramparts
From patriarchal archer loops
They pierced the son's heart

Struck on the battle field
He could not show his wounds
So faking thicker skin
He marched on urging the troops


The king could not see
That his own arrow struck his son
So he continued shouting orders
Urging the battle on

But a keener eye amongst his ranks
Saw the bloody trail
Trickle from his wounded heart
Exposing his generals tale.

He wrote it down in poetic form
For all the world to read
Hoping his friend had not been struck in vain
Hoping the king would see.

Day 162: Voice Mail to my Muse

Ummmmmm.... Helllo?
Muse?
Where the hell you been?
Haven't seen you around these parts
Since I can't remember when.
It's like as soon as I get busy
You find some better friends
Do I have to be miserable
To get you to come around again?
Seriously, what's the deal?
What do you think this is?
You think this relationships over?
It ain't over till I say it is
I'm gonna swing round your place
Be always in your sight
I'm gonna be the reason
You can't sleep at night.
I'm so angry that you left
And didn't let me know
I swear I'm gonna find you out
You stupid dumb aBEEP!
"Message capacity has been reached.
If you would like to leave another message,
Please stay on the line"
Eff it....
I got what I needed....

Day 161: Crest of The Wave

It's electric
I feel it coursing through my limbs
My static status charged to the max
No longer able to continue like this
So I'm on a roll
With the momentum of a stone
I'm picking up steam
That I've bottled in my bones
If I don't move
I'm gonna explode
The crest of the wave
About to fold
About to wash up on shore
And leave my mark on the beach
Washing away foot prints
And washing others feet

Day 160: Be Fearless

I want to be fearless
I want to be free
From the rubber necking
Over the shoulder checking
Every second expecting
To be jumped by something
Or someone,
Immaterial, spectral
Epithelial, close behind
I live in terror
Jumping when the creaking house says jump
Running when the lights go out
Hiding until I'm allowed to leave
Until the sun comes up

But I breathe
Calm the adrenaline frenzy
Just a second longer
Knocking at the knees
Just a breath longer
Shaking uncontrollably
And see
That I am safe
I am safe indeed
The ghost is nothing more
Than the shadow of the tree
The beast is nothing more
Than the squirrels all scampering
And the evil thief
Coming after me
Is just the delivery man

I want to be fearless
So fearless I will be
If I feel over whelmed
I just need to breathe

Day 159: I'm so Mousy

New bedroom, new nest
Is it safe to fall asleep?
Mousy by nature

Day 158: The First Dance

The first dance is uncomfortable
Exciting, alive.
The adrenaline pulses
With heartrate rising
Who will lead
Will the styles match?
It takes some getting used to
Before your steps will match.

Day 157: When the Coffee Drip Isn't Adequate

Again, sorry for late posts. This moving stuff has thrown me all off my game. Here is how I felt the morning after my first real night at the new house.

When The Coffee Drip Isn't Adequate

I've been in the fight
With the night before
I've been in the slurry
Of the morning after
When the eyelids rebel
Like pistachio shells
When the coffee drip
Isn't adequate
When head stays bent
In a prayer for strength
When the feet hug the floor
With every step from the door
I've been there before.

Day 156: I Hate Moving

Hey, sorry this is late but my computer died yesterday around 9:30am and the power cord got lost in the all the moving crap.


I Hate Moving

I hate moving
It's a matter of fact
The endless climbing of stairs holding boxes
Is breaking down my back

After day one was done
I thought I felt ok
But when the morning came to my door
It brought with it the pain

And now it's the start of day 2
And the pain's driving me crazy
But I still have to carry up boxes
So my wife will stop calling me lazy

I can't believe I survived
It's the night of day number 2
I'm laying in bed and resting my head
Because I can barely move

The morning of day 3 is here
And the work is still looming
I'm gonna roll over and say F it all
I've decided that I hate moving.

Day 155: Dealing with the Rage

I'm such a F&$@@ing pistol
Unrestrained, emotionally fitful
The bullets I spit aim straight for the hearts that I love
A tickle of my trigger
Causes bones to splinter
A consequence of the terrible chemical reaction
Diffuse Diffuse
Empty the chamber tubes
Keep me from flying off the handle again
Plug my mouth now
Twist my neck around
Make me a twisted metal paper weight instead

Day 154: Back to Basics

I'm sick of all the hype
So now it's back to basics
I'm clearing all the obstacles
With a fresh new pair of Asics

So I dodge duck dip dive and dodge
Along my merry way
I bob and weave, sting like a bee
But float with a butterfly's weight

I'm settin up the gym
In my small garage
I'm hittin it ever day
I'm ready for the barrage

It's time to fight
To weave and defend
It's time for the basics
To begin again.

Day 153: Under Rated

The undulating underrating
Underlying my every waking
Assessment of my self esteem
Is slowly killing me

Perhaps the plans proposed by man
Relapse and land in the trash again
Because we under rate the required price
We shirk the sacrifice

Day 152: Come back to who you were

Come back to who you were
Long before you were told who to be
Long before you were molded to be
Someone who didn't come naturally
Someone who wasn't you

Come back to who you were
Before dollars had worth
When a shiny brown penny
Was worth a bar of gold
Come back to who you were
Before you became who you were told

Come back to who you were
Before you were bought and sold
Before your life was a dollar value
Determined, detached, cold
Come back to who you were
Before you became who you were told

Day 151: Something's gotta give

Something's gotta give
So it might as well be me
Share all of my excess
And some of what I need

Let my hands be open
Let my wallet too
Let everything I own
Be paid to all of you

In hoarding not a thing
In keeping my hands outreached
I hope to find the realest joy
The realest calm
The realest peace.

Day 150: Bad Day

I'm havin a bad day
Don't give a damn what you say
I feel there ain't no way
I'ma make it through this maze
Gray haze fills my gaze
Fillin my eyes red with rage
Unable to restrain
The beats up in their cage

Uncork my mouth
I spit fire
Unable to contain
The flame filled desire
I perspire molten lead
I spit off the top of my head
Knockout punches
Leavin you for dead
Better re assess
Just who you bout to wrestle with
I'm a hot mess
And I'm not puttin up with this
This disrespect
This disconnect
I'ma set it off right
With my mic check
I was havin a bad day
But I ain't no more
Now that my rhymes euthanized
Your punk ass to the floor

Day 149: Break bread with Break Beats

Hey sorry this is late. Things have been crazy with the fact that me and my wife are moving this week. We've been attempting to pack up everything and get out of the city as fast as possible so life's been hectic. Here's something from the vaults.

As a wise man once said
"These words are my release"
So I cough up calligraphy
To keep from tossing in my sheets
Every night losing sleep
It's more than I can stand
All I want is some peace
But it seems war's at hand
In a land that wealth forgot
And ran off with harmony
Moving into suburbia
To raise a perfect family
So poverty moved into the ghetto
And apparently found a home
Quick called up his buds, guns and drugs
To party all night long
So now they run the ghetto
But I've devised a plan
Cause poverty cannot survive
When we share all that we have
So I sit with the kids on the corner
Breaking Bread with Break Beats
Trying to share hope
Trying to share peace
So I sit with the kids on the corner
Breaking Bread with Break Beats
So that they can break the cycle
And let the ghetto rest in peace.

Day 148: Judging in a Mirror

Judging in a Mirror

Look into the mirror
Tell me what you see
Do you see the faces
Of the people in the street
Do you see the struggle
Caused by poverty
Do you see heartbreak
Of cracked humanity
Judge first the reflection
Staring from the glass
And know that you are no better
Than the people that you pass

Day 147: I held On. I let Go

I Held On. I Let Go


When I saw it
I knew it's worth
Instantaneously
So I gripped it tight
With all my might
So tat it couldn't get free

I kept it close
To my chest
And locked it safe away
So that no one
Could deceive me
And try by force to take

And when I'd had
My well earned run
I knew it was time to split
And with my breath
As I exhaled
I let go of it

In letting go
I got much more
Than I had with it close
And so in giving
It turns out
I received the most

Day 146: Staring down the Devil

I wrote this poem listening to Final by Hol Baumann. It took me like 10 replays to write it all, so for maximum effect, I recommend listening as you read.

VIDEO


Staring down the Devil

There's a sacred place
I've hidden deep within my chest
And when the world around me spins
I find in it my rest
Its whereabouts are whispered
In the darkest bar recess
By a man with a texan drawl
Beer in the right and stump in the left
The brim of his hat
Keeping the light at bay
So no one recalls
Ever seeing his face
But his eyes they're aglow
From a sulfuric flame
A demon-oid stare
Half crazed half sane
No one dares walk
The path that is laid
No one dares stare down
The soulless yellow flame
But I've drunk with him his witch's brew
I've supped with him his eye of newt
I've felt the flame fly from his eyes
And resisted being consumed
As hair rose
And gravity stalled
As the light of the flame
Revealed skeletal jaws
A snake emerged
And slithered and slid
Around my neck
And tightened it's grip
And I hung in mid air
Never breaking my stare
In the hollows of his eyes
An unearthly voice blared
And told me I'd been tested
And found of worth to see
Where this sacred place is found
And how it must be reached
The world swirled
Back into focus
The barkeep and patrons
Hadn't of noticed
As I fell into my seat
The eyes began to dim
And leaning back into the shadow
There was nothing left of him
Now there's a sacred place I keep
Where I find my rest
And know I've been measured
And know I've passed the test.

Day 145: On Rainy days

It's a rainy day
All the clouds are gray
Kinda makes me think today's
The day it slips away

I opened up my door
Behind the alley way
Saw a bum pissin on a wall
Cause he had no other place

Saw a man holding up a pipe
As it's body slumped to the ground
While the other end was pulled tight
Round the exhaust pipes mouth.

These are human acts
On a rainy day
When it seems the gods above
Forgot the human race

When it seems there's now where else
For them to feel safe
When the shit storm swirls and screams
On these rainy days.

And the grounds would swallow up
The hopeless in the streets
Where once they knelt with upturned eyes
Now a shower of debris

Where once they lay, a hoveled ball
In a feeble fetal pose
Now they pray the concrete cracks
Will swallow them all whole

Cause hope has gone
With the suns rays
And all that's left
Is dismal gray

These are animal instincts
Left in full display
These are purely human acts
Witnessed on rainy days

Day 144: Born to Do

If this is what I was meant to do

Then there aint' no need to stress

So Lord grant me every single

Reserve of strength i have left

Guide my paths, keep my head cool

Show me which turns to take

So I can live the life I was made for

And bring you all the praise

Your touch, your hands

Your words, your plans

Your will still stands

Let me rest in you

And do what I was born to do

Day 143: I believe

I believe
That the silent whisper I heard
Was not the random firing of synapses
Caused by a chemical imbalance
Or too much sodium in my diet.
I believe
That the words I heard were a promise
As unbreakable as the past
As sure as taxes and death
If I only have the faith
To sit still
To be quiet.

Day 142: Clubbin

Sorry this is late, I guess the last post I did yesterday didn't take.

Spin
Slam
Tweak
Jam
That's the way to make the crowd go crazy
Stab
Pump
Chop
Jump
That's the way the DJs amazing

Day 142: Haiku2

Sorry I'm late. i wrote two at work but forgot to email them to myself.

My weekends

Resting on a couch
I breathe at ease and relax
Fridays are a blast

Day 141: I Hurt

I hurt
So I drink till I stop
My only known refuges
Found in the cork pop
When the water of your tears
Tears new rifts in my skin
The soothing alcohol
Numbs the pain that I'm in
I can't swim
So I drink until the lake
Is shallow enough that I can touch
The bottom and stay awake
But half way through
I get too sleepy to continue
And I sink below the depths
Of the pain mirrored in you
And I die every time
I see you cry
And I die every time
I hear you lie
And I die every time
You refuse to speak to me
The silence tears me up
Inside

Day 140: Counting the Grains of Sand

Counting the Grains of Sand


I see the future
And it's something big
Something I've wanted
Ever since I was a kid
Something so great
That I shake when I think
About the life
My future will bring

But the time is not now
And I sit and I wait
While I watch the clock hands
Traverse slowly 'cross the face
And I wait as I count
Each grain as it falls
Through the hour glass neck
To the bottom of the bulb

And it drives me effing crazy....

Day 139: My Sleeping Beauty

Poem about my wife? no. My turntables. I cracked them open today after almost a year of their absence. Not practicing for a year really shows........ Time to get back on the horse though, I guess. It's gonna be a rough ride

My Sleeping Beauty

I awoke my sleeping beauty
My pharaoh queen from her sarcophagus
But she woke with such a temper
I wondered if I could take her back

She's everything I want
But a wicked mistress is she
She twists my heart in pleasure
As much as she twists it in grief

Can I live without her?
I guess I'll never know
Because I've already sold myself
And serve her forever more.

Day 138: Between two worlds

I'm caught between two worlds

Firefly catching and turntable scratching
Log cabins and mob stabbings
Chimney smoke and keys of coke
Fishing holes and bitches ‘n’ hoes
Spinning yarns and stealing cars
Mowing lawns and fighting dogs
Home cooked meals and McDonald's value menu steals
Open grassy fields and covert drug deals

I'm tossed within two worlds
In which I drift between
I don't know which I live in
But I know which one I dream

Day 137: Your memory

Late at night
I close my eyes
I lay on the floor
And breath your scent

But then when
I open them
You vanish and I'm alone
Once again.

Day 136: Give Me

Give me dollar
Give me gun
Give me cocaine
Give me rum
Give me everything under the sun
Give me
Give me
Give me

Give me woman
Give me power
Give me statue
Give me tower
Give me everything I can devour
Give me
Give me
Give me

Give me Boom
Give me Pow
Give me quick
Give me now
Give me world that I make bow
Give me
Give me
Give me

Day 135: Limerick Limbering

I wish I were a limerick
A bundle of rhyme and wit
I'd roll of the tongue
Of about anyone
Who drank too much and was lit

He'd speak wise beyond his years
And to eyes he'd always bring tears
But no one would see
He was drunk as could be
And just acted like a horses rear

I'm sure that it would be fun
To so gently roll of the tongue
I'd fall to the floor
In streams I would pour
And bring laughter to everyone

Day 134: I am Celestial

I'm a Phoenix Rising
The bastard son of Orion
The dog star, The lone wolf
The dawn on the horizon

I am a galaxy
The milky way lays at my feet
And the all the constellations
Are the concentrations of what I think.

I am the air you breath
The swirling oxygen sea
The life blood, the lung flood
The Angels blessing debris.

Day 133: How Do I Go On?

I can't stand up straight
Crushed under an unbearable weight.
I'm lookin for a reason to continue with this life
But all I'm seein is the hate

I started out my search
In the belly of a mega church
A monlithic pagan shrine
To hoarding suburban worth

I moved on to math
The most logical of paths
But the more I learned the more found
I didn't know the half

I tried to see the heart
In painting, sculptures, art
But the pain depicting the human condition
Threatened to tear me apart

So now I've nothin left
The sun's already set
And the empty city streets outside
Point at me and laugh

I'm empty I'm alone
In this house I call my home
And I'm trying to find a reason
I should continue on my own

Day 132: Freestyle practice 2

Wow, sorry this is late. I lost track of everything yesterday and thought I posted.

I blaze on
Like Napalm
Throught he rainstorm
So I keep warm

But I shake through night
Fake through the fight
Snake through the tight
Fist squeezing the lifeless
Fear of the flight
But I don't get free
No matter how hard the fight
I don't get free

Day 131: Freestyle Feeling Practice 1

I'm lookin for a reason
Swimmin through the season
Feelin like i'm reelin
From this freezing evening
So won't you feel me
Matter afact
Won't you heal me
Just peel me
From my shell
Save me from this hell
Release me from the
Pleasing of the
Darkness that dwells
In between
Project corridors
Down allyways it swells
And I think
I can't take
Any more i hear bells
Ringing
Ringing
My funeral song they're singing
My headstones arriving
Ahead of my timing
And I can't keep my eyes from seeing
This demon starin me down
There's ashes on the ground
Everything I loved and lost
Is scattered round and round

Day 130: Not Out To Get You, Just Posting A Warning

Last night I had some insight on a bible verse and thought it could make a good poem to drive the point home.

Not Out To Get You, Just Posting A Warning

For the wages of sin is death
And the wages of smoking is emphysema
The wages of doinking your cousin is a six fingered freak
And the wages of a head injury is amnesia

But the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus
And the gift of caffeine is heart palpitating energy
The gift of 4 years of college is a degree
And the gift of pharmacy is the end of disease

It's not just vengeance
It's not a penalty
It's not a debate not open for discussion
It's just the way that things be.

Day 129: That Mustache

Just a heads up, this is a poem for kids and it requires illustrations i have in my head. It's about Gibb's mustache from NCIS, which i can't stand....


That Mustache

Man I hate that mustache
The way it sits
Atop his lips
I wish he would attach
Anything else
To his lip shelf

I'd rather see a lamp
Nestled deep
In his nose crease
Or maybe even a camp
Of at least
Ten wildebeest

If he put a smelly sweater
Under his nose
I suppose
I'd prefer it much better
Than the hair
Already there

I wish he'd shave it away
But then who
Would it go to?
I guess it'll have to stay
So I'll just laugh
At his mustache

Day 128: No Inspiration

Dude I got nothin
My creativity is gone
There's nothing left
In this head
But the last two bars
Of a lady gaga song

Disco stick disco stick
Please make it stop
My brain is on
A nauseous coaster
Would someone please
Get me off

Nothing original
Is coming through
So I recycle
Wasted rhymes
Hoping to find
Some poetic food

If I recycle enough
Tin cans and cups
Soliloquies
And Platitudes
I might create something
That doesn't totally suck.

Day 128: Steele Blue Eyes

Steele Blue Eyes
I hate to see you cry
But when you drown in watery pools
Your color comes alive
Bright blue green
Like never before seen
Electric with an inimdating
Fire blazing intensity

Steel Blue Eyes
Your hue is gray tonight
Your gaze is hard as iron
And your stare as cold as ice
All color now erased
Replaced by gray scale shades
You seem almost robotic
In an inhuman way

Day 127: Settle Me Down Again

Settle me down again
The world's about to spin
And even when I
Rub my eyes
The walls keep closing in

Settle me down again
My muscles are getting tense
Relax the diamond
Hardened iron
Knots forming under my skin

Settle me down again
The air is growing thin
My breaths get quick
But don't do shit
When my throat is caving in

Day 126: Nauseous

I'm sick still and it effin sucks. I also realize i sort of like tryin this iambic pentameter thing.

Nauseous

Tonight again I feel a nauseous wave
My stomach flips aboard a rolling ship
The ocean tries to tumble the top mast
And bring me down to lie on sandy beds

Day 125: The Worm

Dipping into my vault. Feeling like crap.

The Worm

I sit
I watch
Worms in a tree
They crawl
They spin
Delicately
It’s time
To change
To grow some wings
The worms
They spin
And then they sleep

A day
A week
A month pass by
They hang
So still
As if they’d died
They shake
They break
Rip at the seams
They crawl
Unfurl
Their lovely wings

And one
By one
They fly away
Only
The Shells
Are left to sway
But one
Still hangs
Unbroken yet
No sign
Of life
Does it project

One worm
Alone
Will not break out
It seems
That life
Forgot about
The worm
Whose strength
Was just too worn
And failed
To change
And to transform

He’s trapped
Inside
Of his cocoon
Where he
Struggles
To leave his tomb
Alas
His plan
Is all in vain
For he’s
The worm
That could not change

He missed
His chance
He was too late
And from
His past
Could not escape
Could not
Break free
To e’er return
Because
Of this
He’ll die a worm

Summer
Has come
And now will leave
Still the
Cocoon
Hangs in the tree
A dire
Warning
In stark contrast
When men
Can not
Escape their past

Day 124: End of Days

I wanted to try to rhyme in Iambic Pentameter, (another poem directly caused by the book i'm reading).

End of Days

When angels dance with demons fresh from hell
The Levites tango with the heathen swells
When crucifix and golden calf entwine
The day of judgement's final bell will chime

And of this day the prophets had decried
When streams of blood would run until they dried
When homes and towns the earth would swallow whole
When no one will be left to save your soul