Day 64: Take a Second

I realize the last poem was not good. At all.... It happens, and more often on sick days, but you get that when you do 365 in a year. I feel like i tried harder in this one

Squint to see
In the dark or in the light
Somewhere in the middle of
Nightfall and day light

Find the moment
When your skin fits right
After hot flashes
But before frost bite

For a moment stop breathing
Between inhale and ex
When the heart contracts
But before it can relax

In the middle ground
Time stands still
Compose your self in the moment
So your soul can refill




or maybe i didn't do any better....

Day 63: Gasoline Conspiracy

Sick today, so i watched Green TV all day
I had no idea there were so many amazing things people had discovered.


Gasoline Conspiracy

A motorbike running on compressed air
A home heated by microbes
A car that runs on burning wood
A hostel powered by a stream
A boat run on batteries

Fantasies?
No
Eclipsed by
Exxon Mobil
And Iraq.
Common knowledge if you know where to look
Ideas waiting to be sown
To start the revolution.

Day 62: One phone call changes everything

So I had a small quatrain written for today but I just got a phone call and this old poem seems a bit more appropriate for tonight.


I’m crushed. A puddle of pain.
I have never felt more alone in my life.
Days pass by.
Nothing changes. My existence is cyclic.
Wake up, get coffee, get food, run out the door.
Take notes, read papers, repeat.
Come back to my box.
Get ready to do the same damn thing tomorrow.
I mean nothing. A superfluous cog in a useless machine.
But one phone call changes everything.
“Hi baby, I was just thinking about you….”

My days are full of light and energy
Everything is a new and exciting challenge
Nothing can beat me.
I am the master of my fate.
The strings of time run through my muscles.
I flex and the earth shakes
I stretch and the universe expands.
Nothing can bring me down.
But one phone call changes everything.
“Your brother tested positive….”

I’m crushed. A puddle of pain…………

Day 61: Give me a reason

Show me something beautiful
The mending of a broken heart
The uncoiling of a crippled conscience
The healing of emotive scars

Give me reason to believe
My assurance is wearing thin
Pick me back up; breathe new life
And let me live again

Day 60: Heavy Thoughts

Heavy Thoughts

This bubble of granite
Suspended above my head
By the clenching of the muscles
Between my shoulders and neck
Weighs heavy on my conscience
Unbearable
But unable to let go

Day 59: I Run

Sorry this is late. These vacation days are killing me with all the driving and drinking (not combined) Here's a poem I pulled out of the vault.



I’m so tired of being on the verge
Of something amazing
Saving nothing in the tank
I leave it all on the pavement
Trying to find out where my life went
And the day that it left
I haven’t been alive
But I never met death
I suspect he didn’t want me
Because I wasn’t much use
And life was always just too tough
To strap on running shoes
But today I’ve had enough.
Today the waiting’s done
There’s nothing left for me here
So I run.

I run
'Till the sun
Burns me up
Turns me out
'Till there’s nothing left
But my breath
And I Run
And I Run

And I Run

Day 58: Crazy Game of Poker

Hey this post is late too because of Christmas and driving and a night full of poker and drinking.

I'm going all in
Put my life on the line
Play the hand I was dealt
Without batting an eye
Won't fold under pressure
I stand cold as granite
With a 100 yard stare
Seeing through every gambit
Here comes the pay off
But the river ran dry
His hand full of hearts
Beat my three of a kind...

Day 57: Santa's Journey

Swimming in a sea of red
Snow blows bitter against his head
Beard is crusted in thick ice
Tonight he finds out who's been naughty
And who's been nice

Battling the bitter cold
Bags of gifts and bags of coal
Reindeer fly throughout the night
Guided by the bright red nose
Their guiding light

Sliding down the chimney tube
Milk and cookies for his food
Placing gifts under the trees
He flies away now that his mission
Has been achieved

Back at his frozen north pole home
He down's eggnog and then he bones
His horny wife she wants it bad
And Santa gets the greatest gift
He's ever had.



I wrote this and can't stand that i wrote a christmas poem...... but tis the season.....

Day 56: Don't Dare Test Me

Hey sorry it's late, worked all day and drove all night. Sittin here in cleveland tryin to catch up

Sick with the rhythm
I'm spitting the venom
Lining up women
They stand at attention
It's my new invention
What everyone mentions
I'm twisting intentions
And breaking conventions

And maybe you'll see
That I'm totally fearless
Unable to bend
At the knees- I stand peerless
Just like a king
With my words I'ma seal this
By royal decree 'till wax
Cracks and releases

Words melted from vinyl
Two platters that spin
Forming break beat barrages
I'm going all in
I throw the first stone
Cause I know that I'll win
And no one will ever
Dare test me again

Day 55: Life is a Top

Life is a top
In a delicate dance
Spinning round and round

It wobbles and waves
Feigning to fall
Spinning round and round

Staying fluid in movements
Graceful, chaotic
Spinning round and round

Until time is up
Gravity wins
The dance was started
With intention to end

The dance isn't beautiful
If it won't fight the fall
Spinning round and round

Day 54: Lost and Found

Lost and Found

Show me something I can see in crystal clarity
Searching through the smoke so long has started scaring me

Take my hand and a fan and chase away the wraiths
Light a candle. Strike a match. Warm me with the flame.

Extract a map from your back pack and chart our way back home
Read the compass and the stars and point the route they've shown

Speak words of comfort, giving strength, causing fear to melt
Fill the darkness in this heart with love it's never felt

So we take determined steps towards the long night's end
And one day soon I trust that we will see the sun again

Day 53: Stay Fluid

Too tired to look
Life in the eye
While falling to the earth
As the flock flies by
Didn't stay fluid
Enough to float
That rigid rigor mortis
Kept the fingers on the throat
Life's an air current
Learn to float like a balloon
And the winds will knock
But won't stop
Your rise to the moon.

Day 52: The Clock Struck Who?

When the clock struck 1
1 struck him back
Twisted the hour hand to land
On the clock's face with a slap

He said, "Take that"
Don't ever touch me again
Or the next time that I slap
I won’t' be using a hand

So the clock moved on
And struck the 2
And the 2 walked away
With an ego badly bruised

But the clock moved on
Never missing a step
As time continued running
Never looking back

Day 51: Hold Me Back

Fifty days. I did not think that it would be this tough to write a poem every day. I know some of them have sucked, 4 lines of inspiration is tough on a fast day. I'm real glad I've been able to make it this far and hope i keep it up to day 365.

So for day 50, since it's a milestone, i decided to kick it old school where i first learned to rhyme with my brother.


Hold me back, Hold me back
I'm comin on the attack
My verboseness is ferocious
So you better watch your back
I'm pickin up the slack
That other rappers pack
My tracks will leave you breathless
Like an asthma attack
I'm spittin golden lyrics
Blessin those who hear it
A messianic M C
Approachin battle, fearless
Completely peerless
Unable to back down
Moved from deep within
By the boom bap sound

Day 50: Dreaming of Italy

I want to run away
I want to live in peace
I want to drive a boat
On watery Venetian streets

I want to grow a garden
Full of Basil and oregano
Eggplants and artichokes
San Marzano tomatoes

I want to feel the day
Savor passing time
Take all evening for dinner
Full of bread and wine

I want a rustic home
With terracotta tiles
A small but open layout
That's withstood life's harried trials

I dream of this place
While I read the morning news
Because I'm far from Italy
And stuck in Syracuse

Day 49: Reflection I

On this reflective surface

My self deception becomes worthless

And I know you can see right through me

So maybe you can hear

The sound of ever tear

That fell from heaven the day I cut you free

Day 48: Forgive Me

Prayer/Poem. Having another rough week..... I feel like I've posted that a lot. Maybe every day is a rough week.


Forgive me

Lord I am a man
Of earth and dust
Soot and Ash
Flesh given voice and thought
Reason and feeling.
A mottled reflection of your perfect name
Though full of sin
I stand in your blameless presence.
You have given me breath
For purposes you deemed fit
When I was fit only for death.
Heaven fall on me now
Let the ash I am composed of
Mix with tears from your broken heart
And create Lye
To bleach these bones
A clean slate for you to build
The man you want me to be.
Remake me from my frame
Like the phoenix from the flame
Let my down fall be the beginning
Of something beautiful

Day 47: Masks

The masks that we wear
Are ready to tear
From the use and abuse that they field
When the smiles we fake
Are beginning to break
And the cracks create rifts in our shields

Day 46: A Moment to Collect Myself

Sometimes I need a moment to collect myself


Clear my mind
Untwist my spine
Feel my center settle
Forcing stars to re align
Exhale and let slide
The sands of slipping time
Trickle down my back
So I relax and unwind
So I relax and feel fine
So I relax
When I come back
The world is fresh
Through my eyes

Day 45: Some Really Fly Flannel

I went to an outdoors store where there's boots and snowshoes and flannel, which evidently are staples for life in Syracuse. I bought a 5 dollar flannel shirt and it is ridiculously warm! But I look like a prepubescent lumber jack.... So I decided to write a poem about it.


Some real fly flannel


I've found I'm fond of flannel
And I'm sure you'd never guess
That out of all the fabrics
I've tried on, it fits the best.

Like a limber lumber jack
It lets me move so free
In case I ever need to dodge
The falling of a tree.

The cotton cuts off cold
From reaching hairy skin
As I trek the frozen tundra
Above the arctic ring.

But I've never trekked the arctic
And I've never felled a tree
But in my flashy flannel
My imagination can run free.

Day 44: Living in the Shadows

Living in the shadows

I stopped below an overpass
One snowy December day
A meteor shower
In bullet time
Dancing, swirling flakes.

There I was
Cast in the shadow
That blocked reality
That shone on either side
A membranous divide
Surrounding me

Once removed
I could breathe
But knew I couldn't bide
Hiding in this moment
My heart ached
To be outside

Standing in the shadows
May rest your weary soul
But the heart cannot be fooled
And the snow will always sing
To tell you you aren't whole

Day 43: Wind

Wind.

Wind wind
Blowing again
Why do you knock
So hard to get in?

Would you stay and chat
If I let you inside?
Or would you leave through the window
To knock one more time?

Maybe your lonely
But can't settle down
With the fear of commitment
Furling your brow.

Maybe your noisy
Maybe your a dick
Maybe you live to play
Mean little tricks.

But you never speak
Or say what you feel
So again we will spin
Around life's little wheel

Wind wind
Blowing again
Come in and lets talk
And maybe one day
We could be friends.

Day 42: Catch Your Breath

Inhale

Hold in oxygen

Let it capture all the radicals

The impurities and the carbon

Exhale

Breathe the bad air out

Expel nightmares and anxieties

That spin your world about

Close your eyes

Quieting the light

Center yourself and rest assured

Everything will be all right

Open them again

Drink the colors fresh

Until your thirst is quenched

Until you catch your breath

Day 41: Life's about Unlearning

Reality is the unraveling
Of everything that is real
It's the understanding that sometimes
The truth is what you feel
And sometimes it's the logic
Of philosophers and math
And sometimes it's the understanding
That there is no correct path
Like a flowers slow unfurling
Or the rising of the sun
Life's about unlearning
What's taught to everyone.

Day 40: Expressions

Expressions



I pulled up to the ATM
But forget my pin
I withdrew a blank



I didn't see the bridge
As the road rose higher on the ridge
So I flew the coupe



I decided not to pay
Because the baker made me wait
So I took the cake

Day 39: Freinds at the Bar

Clink Clink
Glug Glug sigh
To everything we've missed
While time passed us by

The blur of weddings,
Family's, kids.
Pass by like pictures
On 35 mm strips.

But here at this table
Good beers in hand
We act as if this
Is where time chose to stand

Frozen in it's footsteps
Unable to move
As we sit around the table
And the world starts to swoon

Everything disappears
Except for us 4
Friends for a life time
Friends forever more.




Troy was a blast!

Day 38: Tomorrow

Sorry that these last two day posts are A) late and B) things I wrote a bit ago. I'm back in troy hanging with Tony Furtado and Caroline Kim and Phil Thompson and Mike Notely, and they have me a super fun time. They are responsible for my unoriginality in poems. it happens when you drink and laugh and freestyle all night and play raquetball and watch elf all day..... AWESOME!


Tomorrow

Every night I fear
The coming of the day
The stresses held in store
Crush me under their weight

I’m not ready to take
Responsibility
I want to bask in night’s
Quiet tranquility

But each stolen moment
Comes with a price to pay
Putting off tomorrow
Holding to yesterday

Makes stress reality
When all I really need
Is to slip into bed
And fall into deep sleep

Day 37: Run On

The beginning of a poem called run on......


Soul is stretched surpassing limits. Seriously, I’ll crack.
Crack kills while mortuary’s fill every coffin with the ash.
Ash fallen and crest faced I’ve slipped into the back.
Back pack full of power, black powder packed in gats.

Day 36: Peace in Defeat

real quick free style about how well work went. haven't had a chance to really formulate thoughts lately.

It's over
But it hasn't yet begun
Because the fall out will still follow me
Everywhere I run

I exhale
A relieved sigh of defeat
The stagnant breath held in my chest
Is finally leaving me

Winded like a balloon
Inflated once then let free
The sweet relief of breath release
Leaves me shriveled cadaverously

There's no happy ending
But I close my eyes and smile
And fall between the rock and hard place
Weightless bliss
Before I hit
I'll relish every diving mile.

Day 35: Anorexadone

Hey, sorry it's late. This week in Cali was muderous.

This is the start of anorexadone. I might continute it in a day or two.



And so this woman bends her body
Into grotesque shapes
While she slowly wastes away
Becoming nothing but a wraith
A mere memory in a foggy cloud
That dissappears when the sun comes out

She says she's in control
And it's almost believable
Until you see into her family's eyes
And the scars that are untreatable
Watching your baby girl slowly die

But how is it control when you're compelled
To destroy yourself?
How is it control when you can't stop?

It's one binge replaced by another
Xylophone ribs for another slab of butter

Day 34: Worth the Trouble

I've been reading Grace (Eventually) by Anne Lamott and she's really reminded me of a few very important truths that humans seem to forget or never really find out.

I'd never have learned to ride a bike
If I'd never fought with gravity
If I'd never flipped over handlebars
If I'd never scraped my knees

You never learn to balance
If you never start to fall
And you never grow as a person
If you're carried through it all

There's a reason why our parents split
Why our loved ones die
Why our prayers seem unanswered
Why we feel alone at night

Because unless we struggle through
Unless we deal with pain
Our lives are hardly worth the trouble
God went through to create

Day 33: Sleep Deprivation

Sorry it's late. I had it written but i've gotten like no sleep and worked through the night.

I'm so exhausted
Too tired to care
That I'm alone in my hotel room
And only I'm there
But I hear voices in the corner
Keeping me from sleep
So I lay in my bed
As the hours start to creep
And then they start to run
As they've built up speed
And soon the voices replace
The one I knew as me