We finally got cable three days ago. I love watching soccer with my wife, and keeping up with the mentalist, but I loathe commercials more than almost anything. Not because they interrupt my show, but because they lie over and over attempting to tell you that you will be happy only if you buy (enter their product here). It makes me disgusted. So here's a poem about it.
Selling Happiness
I sat in front of the TV
Almost catatonic
At the first commercial I woke up
And realized I wasn’t happy
Now I’d been laughing for the last ten minutes
As a bumbling husband
Got himself into some generic trouble with his wife
I thought the laughter
Was a textbook symptom of happiness
But evidently it was lackluster laughter.
A sham.
Empty.
I was empty.
And these white strips
Would be what made me complete
My word would be filled
With smiles
Dancing
And slumber parties!
Or would it be
The rice crispy treats
That reconnected me with relatives?
All that marshmallow goodness
Would plug up the festering hole
Caused by all the hateful words spit at the last thanksgiving dinner.
Wait,
Next commercial tells me everything I knew was wrong
Really anything I buy at walmart
Will make my grandpa love me!
I guess I’m not happy.
Now the show’s back on
But I can’t seem to laugh anymore.
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